Category Archive: Film

Dec 07

LOTR Vs. Star Wars: Cage Match To The Bitter End (Of The On Sale Bin)

Yeah, that's right, I'm a book devoted entirely to the detailed depiction of the history of Middle-Earth, and the greater world of Arda as a whole.

Prior to the release of the “Lord of The Rings Trilogy,” there was nothing ambiguous about the phrase “The Trilogy.” “The Trilogy” obviously referred to the legendary science fiction franchise “Star Wars,” the brainchild of George Lucas. Now, however, that certainty is longer present. In 2001, director Peter Jackson undertook the cinematic adaptation of J.R.R. …

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Oct 19

How I Saved The World With Ben Affleck: The Best College Essay Ever

Oh yeah kid? Well then why the heck did I get left on that asteroid?

As November 1st closes in, more and more helpless high school seniors (check out that CRAZY alliteration!), are realizing the need to finish college applications in time for Early Decision. But fear not, helpless seniors, for I have written the truly PERFECT college admission essay. It chronicles my great achievements while thoroughly detailing an amazing …

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Aug 23

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

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Do you remember back in the day when our wizarding literature wasn’t ruled by horocruxes, prophecies and symbolic rants about government? When Voldemort was just some guy hanging off the back of Quirrel’s head and Hagrid was our friendly neighborhood bestiality enthusiast? With the movie series finally coming to its climatic end, I’m taking time …

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Aug 07

The Seven Things I Learned From “Cowboys and Aliens”

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  Having been excited for a the better part of a year for the hybrid film that became the messy, bloated, clichéd movie Cowboys & Aliens, it was sad to see such an interesting concept become such a disappointingly predictable movie. In an attempt to save others from the same heartbreak that I experienced while …

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